


A Delicate Balance

by HYPERFocused



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Ficlet, M/M, Neck Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-21 15:11:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1554782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HYPERFocused/pseuds/HYPERFocused
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The back of his neck is irresistible, tiny hairs curling where Rodney’d been too busy to get them cut, that tendon John has to bite when he’s pressed up against Rodney...</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Delicate Balance

**Author's Note:**

> Written 2/01/2006
> 
> [](http://kissingchaos9.livejournal.com/profile)[**kissingchaos9**](http://kissingchaos9.livejournal.com/) challenged me to use these lyrics as inspiration, and write exactly 483 words of John/Rodney. Then I saw the [Informal Neck Porn Challenge.](http://mmmchelle.livejournal.com/149088.html)
> 
> We might kiss when we are alone  
>  When nobody's watching  
>  We might take it home  
>  We might make out when nobody's there  
>  It's not that we're scared  
>  It's just that it's delicate  
>  \--Damien Rice, Delicate

There’s a part of Rodney that thinks John only wants him because being stuck in another galaxy, his choices are limited. Or possibly, his common sense and good taste were dispersed into their component molecules when he went through the Gate. Yes, Rodney knows intangibles like that don’t have physical aspects to lose in the transfer, but they live in a sentient, once thought mythological city, are being threatened by life-force sucking vampires, so nothing really surprises him anymore.

But John does want him, and from the tenderness he shows Rodney when he kisses him, and the desperation with which John fucks him, it isn’t _just_ want. It’s something more. Something neither of them are willing to risk by giving it a name.

They spend more nights together than he ever expected, but fewer than he would hope. It’s a delicate thing, this secret between them. Sometimes he wishes that everyone could know. Other times he’s sure they already do. But he holds back the words he wishes he could let fly. "I love you. Be careful. Don’t die" in favor of his usual snark and complaints.

It’s much easier to be what everyone expects, than who he really is. He isn’t "Complaining McKay", or "Scared Rodney" anymore. Not that he doesn’t have complaints and fears, but it isn’t just himself for whom he fears. The fate of a whole new world -- worlds, even -- rests on his shoulders, and he really doesn’t know if they’re broad enough to carry it all. This isn’t like school, with a curve to ruin, or a prize to be won. Outcomes here won’t be bound in leather, or inscribed on sheepskin and placed on a shelf for his mother to ignore. Outcomes here will lead to years of safety or moments that can ruin it all.

* * *

When Rodney gets like this -- thinks too much, as only Rodney can -- the thing to do is to distract him. It doesn’t matter if the distraction comes in the form of annoyance or arousal. Oftentimes one will lead to the other.

Right now, Rodney is bent over his laptop, about to save the world, or possibly just saving his high score -- he does everything with the same serious intent. The back of his neck is irresistible, tiny hairs curling where Rodney’d been too busy to get them cut, that tendon John has to bite when he’s pressed up against Rodney, cock deep inside him, the light flush leftover from their outing in the field, or their one in Rodney‘s quarters earlier. All of it says "I’m yours, John, even if no one else knows it."

Fuck it all, John says inside his head, and does what he wants. Nobody’s watching. Zelenka is busy with something or other, and the underlings are busy underling-ing .The kiss that John places on just that perfect spot lays claim.  



End file.
